Kristen Stewart: Terrible Actress or Amazing Genius?

I know I haven't posted in a long while, but you could say I've hit the worst amount of procrastination I've ever experienced in my life, thus the sitting around all day and still having homework to do. I leave for Ireland Thursday and the preparation for such a little excursion is borderline overwhelming, so I don't have too much to say, especially because it's 3 in the morning.

Nevertheless, lately I've been thinking about Kristen Stewart, probably because of the endless Twilight references in my life and all the commercials for The Final Twilight: Vampires Are Awesome movie is soon to be released on DVD. As I looked in disgust at the expressionless face of Kristen, and all of my acting experience making me want to cry at the lack of emotion in her, I had a thought. What if this whole time, Kristen has been playing us. I mean, we all mock Twilight for it's plot, the ridiculous details, and terrible writing, and then when they make it into a movie, the chosen actress doesn't even act. What if Kristen absolutely agrees with all the criticism of the books and has been making fun of Stephanie Meyer's writing this whole time? I mean I know she could just be a terrible actress, but what if she had the brilliance to mock the whole thing? Think about it, they offer her the role, and I mean I'm sure she enjoys the idea of the big name and the big bucks, but meanwhile, she can get away with making a mockery of one of the poorest products of modern society. Heck, with that thought in my mind, I can't ever watch the movies in the same way. I mean it's amazing how much of a great conspiracy theory that is! I can't even handle it. I do have to say, if this is all true, way to go Kristen Stewart. If she's just the worst actress who ever lived, nothing much will change in my life because you can't prove anything and I'm going with the conspiracy idea. And I'll continue to watch the movies with two of my best friends because somehow these movies have come to define our friendship...not really sure how but we can roll with it, right Frannie and Emma? (Miss you two by the way!) Anyway, you heard it first here, and I wouldn't be surprised if more comes out on it in the future. I also think Kristen cheated on Edward or whatever his name is on purpose to get more publicity for the movies but that's a conspiracy for another time.

Speaking of acting, I auditioned for the school play this evening, and I'll find out tomorrow if I get the part. Fingers crossed I can be a part of my last possible production here at Belmont Abbey College, and if not I'll stick to being a "dumb jock" and never leave the athletic side of campus again. Even though technically I'm still really only a NARP. Anyway, if I don't get the part, I can always go ask Kristen for advice on fooling the entire world into thinking I can act if she can convince them that she can't.

look, she has loads of expression!

Catholic New Year's Resolutions

Here I sit, starting the third blog post this week with not yet one published, but here's hoping I can make it through without distraction. For one, I'm writing this on my brand new, secondhand iPod touch my little sister gave me for my birthday and because since she got the new iPhone no longer needed a lame-o iPod (I'm still team blackberry for the win!). Anyway, I can lay in bed with all the lights off and no Facebook sitting open on another tab distracting me. It's refreshing.

Yesterday marks the third time I've seen Les Miserables on broadway, fourth time on stage total, and six and a half-th time if you include seeing it in the movie theaters. I might be a little Les Mis-ed out for the time being, but it was fun to get dressed up with Brianna and go downtown. I love my school but I hate that I rarely get off campus. Plus who could refuse free tickets? Mardi Gras is always a reason to go out on the town anyway. Disappointingly, I was unable to consume all of my birthday candy my family sent me, so I'll have to distribute that amongst campus today.

Speaking of birthday candy, I would just like to say, Valentines Day is not a real holiday, and it ruins my birthday every year! Since Valentine's Day comes before my birthday, even if only by three days, hallmark and Walmart find the need to put out all the pink heart themed items instead of the ones with my face on them (and the m&ms of me are so adorable!!) We all know that February 17th is commonly know as The Best Day of the Year, or Universal Gabry Day, but then the government always pays corporations like cvs and target to go for the romantic holiday to try to promote their so called vision of "world peace." I mean come on, everyone loves me, I'm practically a poster child for world peace. Anyway, that tangent is triggered from the fact that my only none pink birthday present in my package was this iPod. Don't get me wrong, candy is candy, and I couldn't be happier my family sent me. It just represents everything wrong with the US government. In fact most governments stink because the only two that fully support Universal Gabry Day are Antarctica and Pluto, and Pluto's kind of up in the air with the whole status of whether or not Pluto's government is legitimate since Pluto's planet status was revoked. Ah well. I'll get over it.

So today is Ash Wednesday, or as I like to think of it as "Catholic New Year." Now I know the actual church year doesn't start on Ash Wednesday, but Lent is the perfect excuse for Catholics and the other Christians who celebrate Lent to make the equivalent "New Year Resolutions". I for one am a typical catholic. My list of things to give up or do for Lent include the following:

-No sweets
-No pop
-No more than an hour on Facebook a day (its sad that that is a struggle for me)
-One holy hour a week
-No cussing or swearing
-5:40am yoga once a week

You can see my random and somewhat complicated decisions to sacrifice and make myself a better person in preparation for Easter. At the same time, it'll be easy for me to forget one thing because I'm too busy thinking about another. On the other hand, I've seen friends who will find it a struggle to just give up alcohol for Lent. Either way, it'll be a battle to fight. I'm curious to see how it goes.

This upcoming weekend, besides my birthday, I have my conference carolinas meet for indoor track. I will be running the 400 in the DMR and the 800m open race. Also, this means I will be in bed early Friday night in preparation and in bed early Saturday night from exhaustion. There's always next year to celebrate anyway, and 21 is a big deal. Anyway, I made it through a whole post on my iPod nonetheless! I apologize for any autocorrected mistakes or possible difficulties that may arise from the fact that I don't know what I'm doing with this thing. Until next time. Stay strong with your resolutions, and if those aren't for you, I've got some candy in my room I need to get rid of :)

Boyfriend or Cupcakes?...Cupcakes!

Lately, I've had many of my friends get into relationships, and I mean many of them. Now, never having had a boyfriend, I don't really see what all the fuss is about, but at the same time, I can't avoid the glaringly obvious, "sympathetic" comments my friends make when they're trying to be sensitive.

Of course since everyone's first assumption when I make comments about being single is that I'm desperately wanting a boyfriend, I'm going to go ahead and run with it.

So since I'm so sad and pathetic and alone, thus having a blog and seventy-two cats (not really though, I prefer dogs), I've complied a list of things that show me just how single I truly am.


You know you're single when...

...you only shave the outside of your legs in case someone brushes up against you.

...you find yourself on a Friday night sitting across from your roommate and her 
boyfriend in a booth at Panera.

...your roommate and her boyfriend call you their "child" since they bring you everywhere with them.

...you haven't been complimented in so long that when people compliment you

you get physically uncomfortable and develop a rash.

...you have so many pillows in your bed so there's no room for anyone else.

...your pillows are your cuddle buddies.

...you wear your retainers every night, even though you got your braces off 5 years ago.

...your teammates all start talking about their boyfriends, and when they try to include 
you, you actually find the idea of seventh wheeling attractive.

...since you're the only single one left, your friends develop the idea of the 
"Bachelorette" at your own school, starring yourself.

...you have to pay for all your own food. Unless your roommate's boyfriend brings you some.

...you try to convince yourself you're single because you're to sexy for any normal,

breathing college boy. And you want a man!

...you develop obsessions with celebrities that you probably wouldn't even find 
attractive in real life.

...you actually try to change your facebook relationship status to "in a relationship" with "food."

...you spend hours on youtube learning dances and memorizing Pitch Perfect quotes.

...whenever there's an event with a "plus one" option, you bring your best friend,
making all of the extended family wonder at your sexual orientation.

...your 13 and 15 year old sisters makes comments on how they'll be married first.

...all of your sisters call you a man-eater.

...you're so awkward from lack of physical interaction that when he goes for a
handshake you go for a hug.

...you never enjoy your birthday since it coincides with Valentine's Day, making you
oh-so-aware of your single-ness.

...you'd rather go to the DMV than talk about feelings.

...your mom always tells you, "Boys don't ask you out because you're the marrying type."

...when a male shows you any kind of attention, you find yourself picturing your future children.

...when someone says "I love you," you have to fight the urge to respond with "I love lamp."

...you have enough time to write posts like this. 

Well, I'm going to go cuddle up with my body pillow, pillow pet, and blankie and go check my dating profiles on OkCupid, Zoosk, and eHarmony. Have a great week and remember, as all those happy couples prepare for Valentine's Day, keep strong and eat lots of chocolate! And since you have so much time on your hands, go ahead and do something crazy. Like learning this dance. Let's be honest, you've got nothing better to do.