Falling in Love

If you couldn't tell from the title, this is one of those posts that you write (and read) while listening to Maroon 5 while sipping on your bottle of wine (gotta keep it classy). For a while now I've thought about writing this post but it tends to be far more emotionally involved than I like to stray. Nevertheless, the time has come to address what I face and have been facing for years now.

At the "ripe" old age of 20, the fact that I do not, nor have I ever, had a boyfriend is baffling to many people (first and foremost myself). My family always joked that I was afraid of falling in love, that I was a man eater (I did go through a cruel stage in high school) but now I graduated college, settled in for the long haul, and I'm still alone. While right now I'm happy with my life and not thinking of singleness as a "waiting" period, a part of me always wonders. I wonder how girls get in and out of relationships so easily, and how do they find these men just lined up?! I struggle to meet guys, let alone find one I'd one to spend an exorbitant amount of time with! I do yearn for companionship. Although I absolutely love my girlfriends and could not live without their advice and friendship, I imagine having one person dedicated to me to be quite a luxury.

Do not get me wrong, at the same time I don't want to date! Emotional, mental, and social energy go into a relationship, and for an introvert like myself, that sounds absolutely exhausting. I don't want to have to put all my time into someone else, especially when I feel like at times I don't even know what to do with my own life.

Deep down though, I think there's something beyond the superficial reasons that I want someone. Now, there's something I've finally figured out about myself: I fall in and out of love every day. Crazy, right? Here I am, falling in love with a character in a book, a little thing a friend will do for me, my faith drawing me in ever deeper. Falling in love, though, is something involuntary, something that I, as a person who lives my life in a flurry of passions, experience every day. So what's the point of this post? Well, I think there's something more passionate, more intimate, and more involved than falling in love. For me, as a person who guards my heart, whether or not I want to, I struggle to ever let go of it. What I really crave is that person to whom I can give my heart. And that's what I really fear. I don't fear falling in love, I don't want to be a man eater, I fear the person who will take my heart without realizing how rare it is. Like the Maroon 5 song, "if I fall for you, I'll never recover." Really, I won't. Maybe I'm too old-fashioned about relationships, but my logical brain says if a guy doesn't take the time to make want to give my heart to him, it doesn't even cross my mind to even consider him.

I think I've given my heart away, twice, almost. And those two almost times crushed me. I fell in love involuntarily and gave my heart up voluntarily. I still look back with love and pain, I still hear that song and cry, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Even so, as girls continue their serial dating, I can only focus on my life, my family, my God, until a man comes along who's willing to persevere. Since I feel so deeply, I give very sparingly. At times I feel lonely, feel like there's something I'm doing wrong, I know it, but I know that is not true, not one bit. But I want to be swept off my feet! Someone who holds me close and never lets go. I want to fall into love so passionately that I can give him my heart without a second thought! In all of that, I need a man strong enough to break through my defenses and patient enough to coax me out of myself. A man understanding enough to realize what it will mean when I give my heart to him. Until then, I cannot change me, I cannot change my heart. I can only embrace myself for all my gifts and flaws, and wait for a man who will do the same. And when that happens, I never want to say goodbye. I've had so many goodbyes in my life, but I want a hello that will make me stay, forever.

And now you're numbered among

One of the ones I've could've loved and

Could've lost but I left too soon

And every glance behind me

Holds the question why

But for now I'll hold on

To my unshed tears and my unleashed joy

and I'll live for the moments

That you'll pass me by 

♥

So There's That

At last I return to blogging another 7.4 billion years later. Honestly I really mean to blog more often but I usually come up with ideas right before I fall asleep which means I either am already sleeping by the time I finish the thought or I make a draft title to complete later and now have drafts titled "unpacking" and "work hard play never" (I might actually finish the latter, it sounds kind of cool).  Granted I'm not quite sure what the original idea was. The "unpacking" post was from June, so I'm guessing that was post grad melancholy as I refused to unpack my stuff from college (including clothes) well over a month later. I'll be honest though, the work hard play never post really does apply. Right now I'm holding out for a week from Friday, my last day of coaching for the season praise the good lord above. Between coaching a 5th and 6th grade team, a freshman team, and playing for the community college I'm attending, 20+ hours of volleyball a week is nothing less than time consuming. I haven't studied since the semester started. 

Oh yeah, my life? Basically nannying, class, coaching, playing, and volunteering take up very minute of every day. Also, I developed an addiction to the tv show "Doctor Who", so that takes up every minute of every night (by the way, I'm really upset that the doctor left Rose, even if there's the human doctor I'm incredibly sad and took a break to grieve.) Other than a brief but spectacular visit to North Carolina, I have become completely antisocial unfortunately but as my dear friend Emma pointed out to me, I have my health, so there's that... Why isn't it the 25th yet?? 

Anyway, I have to go wake up Luke from his nap, just needed to write a line or two, but I can't wait to be back for real, if I make it, through these next two weeks. Wish me luck! 

The Last Goodbye

Note: I wrote this shortly after graduation but never finished it. I figured I'd publish it rather than delete it, and maybe I'll finish it someday, when I have to say more goodbyes.

Why are goodbyes so hard? Is it because you don't want to be apart? Is it because you're afraid you'll never seen that person again? I have had a lot of goodbyes in my life, and I realized I'm the "goodbye-er" who makes promises. I honest to goodness believe those promises, but looking back through the years I have realized my goodbye promises tend to be the least likely to actually happen promises I'll ever make in my life.

I am not lying when I make these promises, in fact, I am making the promises more for myself than for the person I'm making the promise to. I need these promises to get me through the pain of the separation, and for me, an anxiety for the unstoppable changes in our relationship. Best friends separated by 2000 miles are still best friends, but long distance can truly alter the communication at the least and end the friendship entirely at its worst. The promises feed me hope, that no matter what I will see that person when I come visit them at Christmas.

The most terrible goodbyes and promises I gave fell in my last week at college. According to the plan in my head, I told all my friends (and even non-friends) that I would return in the fall for a few weeks at least as I waited to go to Europe. Honestly I think this idea of a return is the only way I was able to survive, the fact that it's not a forever goodbye.

Unfortunately plans change, and when I realized I couldn't return, I was disappointed. I gave up the return for something else, but without the idea of the return I'm not sure how I would've made it through the difficult months following the goodbyes. People may think I'm overdramatic, to get over the fact that things have changed, and I can always keep in touch with my friends, but I think that knowing that

Those long term goodbyes are the ones that make me appreciate the short term goodbyes, yet I still take them for granted. 

Nothing

I haven't written in a long time, and I don't really have anything to say, but it's late and I'm tired and can't sleep, so warning: this will probably be completely random, poorly written, and I cannot be held responsible if you suffer mental injuries from reading any further.

Anyway, halfway through the summer already! And a totally incandescently amazingly wonderful summer it is. It didn't start that way, between the stress of graduation and figuring out what life means after school, I handled it the very mature way of deciding to go back to school. So, there's that. I'm pretty sure it's a form of denial because I only am taking two classes in the fall (prereqs for my program) then I'm on a waiting list for 2-3 years which means I can try different careers and do what I want and still say I'm a college student.

This will be interesting.

Regardless, I booked my flights to London and Dublin for next spring! Also, I am considering moving to Honduras with relatives next year and staying at least a year. Then again, it all depends on if I find the man of my dreams in the next six months, discover we can't be parted, come home from Ireland and marry him on the spot. That's very likely, too. In related news, I also believe in unicorns. (hint: I don't actually).

Back to the present. I work at a pool (awesome! you might say, way to go Gabri!) but no, I'm just the pool attendant so I don't even get to swim. I've developed a beautiful farmer's tan though! From there I also got a job at the pro shop, I'm coaching volleyball, and I got a job at a coffee shop. Gabri over-commit??! Never! Well I'm just as surprised as you are.

This writing stuff is therapeutic. When I couldn't fall asleep I should have written first instead of online shopping. I now have a dress and shoes that aren't even my style on the way. Online shopping is so awesome though, it's like getting a present from yourself without the headache, nausea and dizziness that comes along with having to actually leave my house and go to the store. Unfortunately, I don't have the password to the amazon account I have my gift card on, so that's a bummer. You choose your battles I guess.

Isn't that nice? Well, I was there three weeks ago, and no, that's not photoshop blue. I was IN THAT WATER. I inhaled a whole lot of it too when I was snorkeling, but you try and tell me Honduras doesn't have ridiculously photogenic scenery, I'm telling you this is real life paradise. And you wonder why I want to move there.

Well, I think that's gotta be it for now, I'm about to crash, so goodnight tricks and my boo Aaron because I know he doesn't appreciate being called a trick. Also, this will be awkward if he doesn't read it until six months from now but I did my part. Speaking of Aaron, go watch this video. You won't regret it.

Peace.

P.S. I'm about to get my own room for the first time in 20 years! Which puts me back in my childhood bunk bed. Just so much symbolism I can't even handle it. 

Real Life

So this is it. I'm hanging out on a Tuesday night after a 40+ hour work week (is it actually Tuesday?!) and enjoying the fact that I'm done with school forever.

KIDDING ha I enjoyed that no school thing for about negative two months so rather than try to get a job I'm going back to school. Yup you heard me right folks, Gabry is relapsing.

"She must have officially lost it." You say

"Maybe she's been out in the sun too long."

Well you may very well be right (at least about the second one, I'm working at a pool this summer) but it is true, I've been in and out of college admissions offices the past 48 hours and starting to narrow down my plan of action.

So I'm going back to school, probably WCC, which means I have to wait to go back to Ireland until the Spring :( and I'll be stuck in cold Michigan a couple years longer than anticipated :(( BUT that means I can see Gigi compete in gymnastics (today she found out she made the competitive team at her gym!) and Sofia draw me pictures and Lulu makes up stories and the rest of the kids and their crazies stuff.

YAY.

Well. Real life. I need to work on finding the entertaining part now, granted, I keep myself plenty entertained for the most part. Over and out, but I'll be back to this blogging stuff soon, I know y'all random internet people love to hear about my thrilling life. Get with it tricks. 

The Fairest of Them All

Today is my little sister Bella's sixteenth birthday. I don't think anybody realizes quite how amazing this girl is.

*DISCLAIMER: I'd post millions of pictures but she doesn't have a facebook so getting electronic photos is a challenge, she doesn't exist on the internet.*

Where do I even start?

• She makes you think of raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.

• She's tall, dark, and gorgeous. 

• She's as sweet as a slurpee and as crazy as a cocker spaniel.

• She's gone through good times and bad times, and even more bad times, and just keeps coming back. 

• You can always find her with a book nearby.

I wish I could put into words how beautiful Bella is. Now, yes, she has a gorgeous face, beautiful thick hair, and slim figure, but there's an indescribable quality about Bella. She's silly, she's serious, she's crazy, she's laid back, she's a walking contradiction, and she radiates a certain presence that makes me smile when I'm around her. I love this girl to the moon and back, and watching her grow up is one of the most amazing things ever. The struggles, the joys, and the absolute successes of getting through another crazy day at Casa de Las Locas. I really truly love this girl, and I hope I can find the words to come close to express it. She's an absolute gift from God.

Happy birthday, Bell, love you SOO much!

Bella in her neon <3

Respect

I haven't written in a while, and rather than trying to blurt out everything that happened since that meteor came and killed the dinosaurs, I'm just going to go with the moment.

Today, I ran my last race as a NCAA athlete. I've been so blessed to receive the opportunity to compete, especially after never running more than 30 minutes in my life before probably June of last year. I've come a long way in ten months, and I have so much further to go. For a while I was trying to come back to school in the fall so I could stay with the team, but long story short I have some soul searching to do, so I'll hold off on degree number two for a little bit.

It's scary to think of the "real" world, especially at the age of 20, but I think I'll never really live a "normal" course of life. I have this picture in my head, a timeline if you will, about how life should go: grade school, high school, college, job, marriage, homemaker, happy old age, death. I've never really been content with that picture, and I already messed it up when I decided at the age of 16 college was a great idea right then. HA. But I think I assumed it to still all go according to my "plan," which I'm realizing now is very vague, and yes I now have a degree in sports management but I don't know what the heck I even want to do with it. The exciting part? I'm filling out an application to go to Ireland in the fall for three months and do an outdoor sports course, ie high ropes, rock climbing, lifeguard certification, kayaking/canoeing, ehem, SURFING! Yes my first time in Ireland over spring break I learned how to surf in a town ranked top ten IN THE WORLD to surf! Bundoran.

So I mainly just chilled, but I got the gist of it!

While I might get there and hate my whole time (which I seriously doubt), I think it will be a good opportunity for me to figure out, well, me. I wouldn't say I'm too nice of a person, but I oftentimes just want to make everyone happy. While this can be a great thing, it also means I've spent so long catering to what my friends what of me, what my parents want of me, what my beautiful little sisters want of me, that I don't even know what I want of me. I've spent so much time ignoring myself, and maybe I'm just afraid of what I'll find, but I need to face myself and get away. Aaand learning to surf and lead camps for kids doesn't sound too shabby anyway :) Now I just need to get myself a job for the summer! ha. haha. But really, anybody in the Ann Arbor area want to hit me up, I will do anything from scrubbing toilets to walking dogs, just as long as I don't have to go back working at the movie theater.


On a serious note though, this week has been one full of tragedies in our country and the world. While it's especially scary to see an attack like the one in Boston, what's inspiring is seeing how everyone came together through the tragedy. Today, after the capture of the suspect though, I overheard a couple of people excitedly talking about terrible ways this guy should die. While I agree he is a despicable human being, I think if we stoop to that level, to his level, to cause as much pain and suffering as we can, then we are no better than him. Innocent until proven guilty and all that, but even when proven guilty, we can't make up for lives lost by inflicting pain on another. We can best respect those lives by forgiving and forgetting him, and celebrating the lives our loved ones lived.

Southern Adenturetime

You can't get rid of me forever blogger world, even if I'm as sporadic as sprint cell phone coverage on Belmont Abbey's campus or the earth in general. While I will have to take a moment later this week to type up all my Ireland journal entries and put them online, I have some other exciting stories to tell in the meantime. Right now I am in the car on my way home from school, and by car I mean the family's 15 seater van with the whole family included in the vehicle. Yay! Thursday night, the chaotic Faraj family drove into Belmont and the hecticness began.

I hadn't seen any of them since Christmas break so it was a big treat to see them, let alone show them around my new hometown. We started off with a chick fil a run, which was a must for the northerners who've never tried a good ole waffle fry. Anthony proved to be quite the little politician when, upon meeting my suitemates, he shook everyone's hand and gave all the girls hugs. I've raised him well.

Friday morning, Alex, Bella, and Cesca came with me to two of my three morning classes in which one professor had the class applaud them and the other yelled at us to move out of the last row (the only row with four seats together) because he didn't have his glasses on so he didn't recognize me or that my sister were not old enough to be in his class, let alone his actual students. That was exciting. After a nice cafeteria lunch where my family finally was able to sample my fantastic selection of food (oh joy), we walked around the athletic fields and athletic buildings. We had planned on going to the baseball game, but after two delays I took them to the student commons where 5 of them took naps and 4 found the television. Eventually we did make it to the baseball game, and my family convinced themselves that they were a good luck charm as the Abbey scored run after run. Honestly it was probably all the pretty girls (my sisters if you can't handle subtlety) the boys were able to show off for. You're welcome boys.

Saturday, I had to go bright and early to my track meet. An hour later, my family shows up. In matching neon t-shirts. With "Gabrielle's Fan Club" on them. It was great they got to see me run but it was also a horror/exciting moment in my life. They also got to meet my team, which has become my second family at school and coach. They cheered so loudly even though I ran the slowest of my life, and Gianna bragged to everyone "She beat ONE PERSON!" Well, oops.

A couple of the crew

After a Saturday night Palm Sunday service, Jose, Timi, and Kaylie Mae joined the family for a nice, relaxing dinner at Old Stone Steakhouse and then coffee and treats at Caravan Coffee. It finished off a fun weekend and next thing I know bright and early we headed back to Michigan. The little kids are so excited Brianna, Jose, and Timi are coming home for Easter, and Baba already has the itinerary for their weekend here sorted perfectly. While I get back into the swing of being home, the next Family adventuretime is just around the corner.

Dublin

The National Museum

So here I am at 9:32pm on Friday evening already ready for bed thanks to good old jetlag and Irish beer. After getting in around 8:30am this morning, we didn't get through customs and to the hotel until around 10:30 or 11. The hotel we're staying in is very nice, and is has a view overlooking the immediate area of Dublin. It is fantastic! After working out and showering, I joined the group at the pub next door for my first legal beer, which was a lager called Tom Crean's. The culture here is so different! There are pubs every couple buildings, and when we asked the taxi driver the drinking age, he said six years old ha! But then Travis took us down St. Steven's road, on a tour of the National Museum, past the equivalent of the Irish parliament, and on a tour of the National Library (where we saw an exhibit of Yeats and his works), and finally through Trinity College to Temple Bar.

Dinner venue!

The Temple Bar area is very touristy and expensive but it was fantastic, and the girls and I stopped into a pub just down from the famous Temple Bar itself where we befriended the bartender and hung out with him for half an hour with a pint of a local beer (but custom says he couldn't tell us the name of it). He was a friendly guy, who told us about everything from how a guy buying a pint for a girl in Ireland is equal to a date, how to hide our purses from pickpockets, and that if we're not drunk by the end of the night the bartender hasn't done his job. We want to go back with him tomorrow night and he said he might be able to get us free drinks, but we will have to see. We ended up going down the block to eat dinner at Gallagher's Boxty House, which was very nice, but I fell asleep twice at dinner. The plan was for all of us to take a brief nap when we got back, which was around 8, and then go back out at 10, but both Leondra and I had to call it a night. Between our first legal drinks of our lives, the jetlag, and the fact we have to wake up at 7:30am tomorrow to work out, we called it a night. Have no fear, Ireland, this is not defeat! Tomorrow night and the rest of my time here will not be spent in bed sleeping. Just...need...some...zzzzzzz

Ireland!

Midterms are done, spring break has started, and I'm 20 minutes from landing in Dublin, Ireland! I don't think it really sunk in until I heard a few people in the Boston airport talking with Irish accents, then I almost peed my pants with excitement. One of my sports management classes is flying over to Ireland for some international sport learning :)

There are twelve of us, 7 girls, 4 guys, and our chaperone, Travis, who is both my teacher and advisor. I know everyone on this trip (perks of a small school) and like them. Us girls already had a fantastic bonding experience last night at Logan International airport at one of the restaurants there where the 7 of us girls were redeeming our $15 food vouchers since our flight was delayed three hours. Well long story short, the service was terrible, the waiter put us all on one check when we said we were separate, the manager tried to charge all of us gratuity for being a party bigger than six but only charged six of us gratuity even though only four of the girls bought alcohol with their own money so it couldn't be included with the vouchers, then the manager kept telling us we were wrong. We went back forth for an hour. Don't eat at vineyard grille at Logan airport! Haha but anyway, the plane is landing but look forward to lots of posts from me for the next 11 days of my time in the land of the shire. Also, some of the girls mentioned one direction is in town, so there might be some stalking coming as well. Yay! Laterz

First view of the Emerald Isle!

Kristen Stewart: Terrible Actress or Amazing Genius?

I know I haven't posted in a long while, but you could say I've hit the worst amount of procrastination I've ever experienced in my life, thus the sitting around all day and still having homework to do. I leave for Ireland Thursday and the preparation for such a little excursion is borderline overwhelming, so I don't have too much to say, especially because it's 3 in the morning.

Nevertheless, lately I've been thinking about Kristen Stewart, probably because of the endless Twilight references in my life and all the commercials for The Final Twilight: Vampires Are Awesome movie is soon to be released on DVD. As I looked in disgust at the expressionless face of Kristen, and all of my acting experience making me want to cry at the lack of emotion in her, I had a thought. What if this whole time, Kristen has been playing us. I mean, we all mock Twilight for it's plot, the ridiculous details, and terrible writing, and then when they make it into a movie, the chosen actress doesn't even act. What if Kristen absolutely agrees with all the criticism of the books and has been making fun of Stephanie Meyer's writing this whole time? I mean I know she could just be a terrible actress, but what if she had the brilliance to mock the whole thing? Think about it, they offer her the role, and I mean I'm sure she enjoys the idea of the big name and the big bucks, but meanwhile, she can get away with making a mockery of one of the poorest products of modern society. Heck, with that thought in my mind, I can't ever watch the movies in the same way. I mean it's amazing how much of a great conspiracy theory that is! I can't even handle it. I do have to say, if this is all true, way to go Kristen Stewart. If she's just the worst actress who ever lived, nothing much will change in my life because you can't prove anything and I'm going with the conspiracy idea. And I'll continue to watch the movies with two of my best friends because somehow these movies have come to define our friendship...not really sure how but we can roll with it, right Frannie and Emma? (Miss you two by the way!) Anyway, you heard it first here, and I wouldn't be surprised if more comes out on it in the future. I also think Kristen cheated on Edward or whatever his name is on purpose to get more publicity for the movies but that's a conspiracy for another time.

Speaking of acting, I auditioned for the school play this evening, and I'll find out tomorrow if I get the part. Fingers crossed I can be a part of my last possible production here at Belmont Abbey College, and if not I'll stick to being a "dumb jock" and never leave the athletic side of campus again. Even though technically I'm still really only a NARP. Anyway, if I don't get the part, I can always go ask Kristen for advice on fooling the entire world into thinking I can act if she can convince them that she can't.

look, she has loads of expression!

Catholic New Year's Resolutions

Here I sit, starting the third blog post this week with not yet one published, but here's hoping I can make it through without distraction. For one, I'm writing this on my brand new, secondhand iPod touch my little sister gave me for my birthday and because since she got the new iPhone no longer needed a lame-o iPod (I'm still team blackberry for the win!). Anyway, I can lay in bed with all the lights off and no Facebook sitting open on another tab distracting me. It's refreshing.

Yesterday marks the third time I've seen Les Miserables on broadway, fourth time on stage total, and six and a half-th time if you include seeing it in the movie theaters. I might be a little Les Mis-ed out for the time being, but it was fun to get dressed up with Brianna and go downtown. I love my school but I hate that I rarely get off campus. Plus who could refuse free tickets? Mardi Gras is always a reason to go out on the town anyway. Disappointingly, I was unable to consume all of my birthday candy my family sent me, so I'll have to distribute that amongst campus today.

Speaking of birthday candy, I would just like to say, Valentines Day is not a real holiday, and it ruins my birthday every year! Since Valentine's Day comes before my birthday, even if only by three days, hallmark and Walmart find the need to put out all the pink heart themed items instead of the ones with my face on them (and the m&ms of me are so adorable!!) We all know that February 17th is commonly know as The Best Day of the Year, or Universal Gabry Day, but then the government always pays corporations like cvs and target to go for the romantic holiday to try to promote their so called vision of "world peace." I mean come on, everyone loves me, I'm practically a poster child for world peace. Anyway, that tangent is triggered from the fact that my only none pink birthday present in my package was this iPod. Don't get me wrong, candy is candy, and I couldn't be happier my family sent me. It just represents everything wrong with the US government. In fact most governments stink because the only two that fully support Universal Gabry Day are Antarctica and Pluto, and Pluto's kind of up in the air with the whole status of whether or not Pluto's government is legitimate since Pluto's planet status was revoked. Ah well. I'll get over it.

So today is Ash Wednesday, or as I like to think of it as "Catholic New Year." Now I know the actual church year doesn't start on Ash Wednesday, but Lent is the perfect excuse for Catholics and the other Christians who celebrate Lent to make the equivalent "New Year Resolutions". I for one am a typical catholic. My list of things to give up or do for Lent include the following:

-No sweets
-No pop
-No more than an hour on Facebook a day (its sad that that is a struggle for me)
-One holy hour a week
-No cussing or swearing
-5:40am yoga once a week

You can see my random and somewhat complicated decisions to sacrifice and make myself a better person in preparation for Easter. At the same time, it'll be easy for me to forget one thing because I'm too busy thinking about another. On the other hand, I've seen friends who will find it a struggle to just give up alcohol for Lent. Either way, it'll be a battle to fight. I'm curious to see how it goes.

This upcoming weekend, besides my birthday, I have my conference carolinas meet for indoor track. I will be running the 400 in the DMR and the 800m open race. Also, this means I will be in bed early Friday night in preparation and in bed early Saturday night from exhaustion. There's always next year to celebrate anyway, and 21 is a big deal. Anyway, I made it through a whole post on my iPod nonetheless! I apologize for any autocorrected mistakes or possible difficulties that may arise from the fact that I don't know what I'm doing with this thing. Until next time. Stay strong with your resolutions, and if those aren't for you, I've got some candy in my room I need to get rid of :)

Boyfriend or Cupcakes?...Cupcakes!

Lately, I've had many of my friends get into relationships, and I mean many of them. Now, never having had a boyfriend, I don't really see what all the fuss is about, but at the same time, I can't avoid the glaringly obvious, "sympathetic" comments my friends make when they're trying to be sensitive.

Of course since everyone's first assumption when I make comments about being single is that I'm desperately wanting a boyfriend, I'm going to go ahead and run with it.

So since I'm so sad and pathetic and alone, thus having a blog and seventy-two cats (not really though, I prefer dogs), I've complied a list of things that show me just how single I truly am.


You know you're single when...

...you only shave the outside of your legs in case someone brushes up against you.

...you find yourself on a Friday night sitting across from your roommate and her 
boyfriend in a booth at Panera.

...your roommate and her boyfriend call you their "child" since they bring you everywhere with them.

...you haven't been complimented in so long that when people compliment you

you get physically uncomfortable and develop a rash.

...you have so many pillows in your bed so there's no room for anyone else.

...your pillows are your cuddle buddies.

...you wear your retainers every night, even though you got your braces off 5 years ago.

...your teammates all start talking about their boyfriends, and when they try to include 
you, you actually find the idea of seventh wheeling attractive.

...since you're the only single one left, your friends develop the idea of the 
"Bachelorette" at your own school, starring yourself.

...you have to pay for all your own food. Unless your roommate's boyfriend brings you some.

...you try to convince yourself you're single because you're to sexy for any normal,

breathing college boy. And you want a man!

...you develop obsessions with celebrities that you probably wouldn't even find 
attractive in real life.

...you actually try to change your facebook relationship status to "in a relationship" with "food."

...you spend hours on youtube learning dances and memorizing Pitch Perfect quotes.

...whenever there's an event with a "plus one" option, you bring your best friend,
making all of the extended family wonder at your sexual orientation.

...your 13 and 15 year old sisters makes comments on how they'll be married first.

...all of your sisters call you a man-eater.

...you're so awkward from lack of physical interaction that when he goes for a
handshake you go for a hug.

...you never enjoy your birthday since it coincides with Valentine's Day, making you
oh-so-aware of your single-ness.

...you'd rather go to the DMV than talk about feelings.

...your mom always tells you, "Boys don't ask you out because you're the marrying type."

...when a male shows you any kind of attention, you find yourself picturing your future children.

...when someone says "I love you," you have to fight the urge to respond with "I love lamp."

...you have enough time to write posts like this. 

Well, I'm going to go cuddle up with my body pillow, pillow pet, and blankie and go check my dating profiles on OkCupid, Zoosk, and eHarmony. Have a great week and remember, as all those happy couples prepare for Valentine's Day, keep strong and eat lots of chocolate! And since you have so much time on your hands, go ahead and do something crazy. Like learning this dance. Let's be honest, you've got nothing better to do.

LOOK AT ME NOW

Disclaimer: The title of this post has absolutely nothing to do with the content and simply is the song I was listening to when I wrote this. Brianna and I are learning how to twerk following up a track meet that involved a twerk lesson.

Something I have determined, especially over the past couple weeks, is how very passive aggressive I am. Not to say I can't confront people at times, but oh I do I love the indirect approach. I won't tell someone I'm annoyed with what they are doing, I drop subtle, almost unrecognizable hints. Tonight for example, Brianna and I were in a rush after practice because my uncle is in town for work and he was going to take us out to dinner. She rushed back to the dorms after practice so she could shower first, and I took a bit of time coming back. When I came in and she was still in the shower, all I said was, "Brianna, are you almost done?" Without realizing it, I had made a signature statement. Later, Brianna goes, "We need to make a video of 'Things Gabry Actually Means' and have translations of what you mean. Like when I was in the shower, I knew what you actually meant was: 'Brianna, get the h*** out of the shower.'" 

Nice example of a passive aggressive note.

Well, there it is! Here's a common example of my issue: I really want to go home but my ride won't leave, so I start with "Man, I have a lot of homework to do tonight" (Let's get the h*** out of here). Then when there's no response I switch to the slightly more, "Dang, I'm so tired and I have so much to do!" (Let's get the h*** out of here). Then, I might put my coat and shoes on and sit by the door: "So this is fun..." *trailing off into a sarcastic glare* --> (Let's get the h*** out of here). Finally, if I get really annoyed, I might say, "So are we leaving soon?" (LET'S GET THE HECK OUT OF HERE!) Then, maybe, my ride my acknowledge that I said something worth responding to. I find passive aggression amusing even if it causes issues. When I'm mad at someone, I pretend we're all good and instead drop hints about how much fun I've been having with my other friends, when I'm really saying "I never want to see your face again." Would you ever have guessed it? 

So story time, I know I've talked about my sister Alex a ton already and how awesome she is, but I just rediscovered her blog. It's actually quite entertaining, and in a way her style of writing reminds me of me while at the same time being completely different. BUT her blog displays pageviews, and do you know how many she has? over 2800*. Yeah you read that right. You know how many I have? Around 600. Oh the competitive side in me has arisen! While she posts much more frequently (I SWEAR I'M TRYING HARDER TO BLOG MORE) and she has had the blog longer, I want to compete with her. Maybe I'll start blogging every other day. Either way, I guess y'all should go have a QUICK peak (super quick and maybe it won't be logged) and I'm going to start blogging to add to the competition. Look out Allie! You don't know what's coming for you! Her Blog

KIDDING yes I looped that back to my blog, jokes on you! ha sorry I'm NOT sorry. But really, here's the actual blog: I Swear I'm Not Lying: This is her blog.

*There's a good chance that I'm about 1000 of those views...

Here's something my blog has that hers doesn't: Totes Awesome YouTube Video. Well maybe she has different ones, but I like this one. So watch it, especially if you're trying to procrastinate. Or if you want a laugh. Or just reread my blog! :) Okay I'll try to stop being so obnoxious. I also am going to try to blog about the rest of my sisters and brother because I have an awesome family and I can't talk about them enough and that's at least 7 more blog posts.

I'm going to go enjoy the 70 degrees of humidity here in the good ol' south, singing "Alone With You" by Jake Owen because the freakin song has been stuck in my head for a month (seriously, though), and if anyone is interested in my thoughts on any topic, feel free to give me suggestions for topics you want your daily dose of Gabry on. There is also a good chance it will be filled with many long and unnecessary run-on sentences just like that last one. 

The Wild Side

It's been well over a week since my last post, and I'm not going to lie I started this blog post with a topic in mind, but I don't even know what I meant by the wild side. Probably my super crazy college life (don't worry Mama, I'm joking around). I think I began this post right after Thursday when Brianna and I were left for our first indoor meet, hers of the season and my first of my career as a runner. There, in the pouring rain as I stood in the parking lot searching for the vans, Brianna was sprinting after them but no one saw her. We called the vans but Coach was in no mood to turn around, even at the corner. Now, we may sound like irresponsible athletes with no time management skills, but let me be clear: Coach always is late by at least ten minutes. Then, randomly, he will leave on time. Thus Brianna and I, five minutes late, missed our chance. So we spent our Thursday night playing scattergories with the suitemates and doing homework. We're wild I tell you.

On the bright side, I did actually make it to the next meet on Sunday, where I ran my first indoor collegiate track meet, participating in the 800m. I liked it a lot more than the 5k, but probably just because I'm lazy. I certainly didn't come in last in the 5k like I did for the 800, but you live and you learn. (Yes, I came in dead last...only way to go is up from here!) I had fun though, even if running indoor made me feel like I was coughing up blood for the next two days.

Lauren, Me, and Mandrell

Anyway, this week was pretty typical other than Doctor Martin Luther King Junior Day (I just like typing the whole thing out) and Saturday was men's and women's basketball, Sunday was the meet, Monday was men's and women's basketball again, and Tuesday was the very first ever men's volleyball game in Gaston county! Yay! Needless to say, my throat still hurts from screaming my head off four days in a row. Sports, sports, sports: we love them! (yes, Lady GaGa play on words)...

In other news, as I write this post at 4 in the morning, it is because I returned from Washington D.C. tonight a little over an hour ago and can't find my sleep, thus contributing to the somewhat unexciting of the content of this post. But yes, I drove to D.C. yesterday night and today walked to save the babies! I went on the little noticed and non-acclaimed March for Life, marching on the capitol on the 40th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, the case that legalized abortion. What gives me hope is that science is starting to acknowledge more and more that life truly does begin at the moment of conception. While women raped or facing an unplanned pregnancy may find the idea of abortion the "quick and easy" solution, the facts don't add up. Women are 8 times more likely to visit a psychiatrist post abortion than those who deliver the baby, as well as Post Abortion Syndrome, which can cause a range of things from guilt and anxiety to depression and suicide (Post Abortion After Effects). But beside all of the terrible effects for the mothers, the fact of the matter is that it is because they know, after the fact, that they killed their own children. And that is a hell that have to live with for the rest of their lives.

They can find healing and peace though! It is not hopeless for the parents or anyone who has suffered from loss through abortion. The healing can begin to be found when they recognize what really happens when they agree to an abortion. My prayer is that this year people really start to open their eyes to the horror of what is going on, and that when you tell a woman facing a crisis pregnancy to abort it, you are telling her to kill her own child.



Anyway, there's my what have you on the topic. I know it's a highly controversial and sometimes painful subject, but I think sometimes it's the uncomfortable topics we have to face that will leave us for the better. So, without further ramblings I'm going to try to get some shut eye.

Brianna's and my chant for the March?

"What do we want?"

"Babies!"

"How do we want them?"

"Alive!"

Coolest Kid on the Block

Alex, me, and our puppy

In everyone's life, there's someone who inspires them. Now as cliched as it may sound, my little sister Alex is my best friend. I'm not the kind of person who texts her best friend 24/7; in fact, I probably text her only once a week. We don't talk on the phone every day, and I don't tell her every little thing about me. The thing is, I don't have to. I talk to her about the important stuff, and she already knows everything about me. Two years younger than me, we used to fight all the time as kids, at least enough that it was problematic. I remember the day my mom sat us down and made us talk, and agree to protect each other forever, because that's what sisters do. We've been besties ever since.

We got along sometimes too :)

It may just sound like I'm writing a post about my best friend so I can brag, and that's partly true, but that's not the whole story.


12 years ago today, my sister, at the age of 5, was diagnosed with type 1 Diabetes. As a 7 year old, I didn't understand why we had to keep going to the hospital. I still remember laying in the hospital bed with her, watching cartoons and coloring in books. I also remember when the nurse would come in with needles and Alex would hide under the sheets. I wanted to stop the nurse, but I was afraid she would make me leave.

After coming home, the needles didn't stop, and I realized she would have to get shots at least 4 times a day for the rest of her life, until her insulin pump came along, which means shots are a lot less frequent. But I still didn't quite understand. Why did my parents never pay attention to me anymore? I was still their child, even if I didn't need medical attention. I think that was why I didn't like that little punk for a while. Yet as the years went on, I began to understand, and we learned to be best friends.

I had to watch my little sister struggle every day with her diet, with controlling her blood sugar. This sensitive little girl had to go through so much, and not just medically. I don't think she's ever, in her life, intentionally tried to hurt someone (unless it's on the basketball court - ha, you know I'm kidding Alex;)

We've been through a lot together, and I won't go into all of it, but I've watched her work through not only diabetes, but also her diagnosis with Celiac disease a few years ago, as well as a number of other struggles. Now she's in the top running for the Presidential scholarship at Eastern Michigan University (smarty pants!) where she wants to get a nursing degree and give back to the profession she's had to learn so much about. As a senior in high school, she's playing volleyball and basketball, taking AP Calc "for fun," and she's working two jobs. While her stubborn side can get on my nerves, it also drives her to be a much better person than I'll ever be. Her sensitive, caring personality makes me want to be more selfless.

I don't know if you've caught on or not yet, but I love my sister so much, and I'm so proud of her as she's ended up here on a journey that start 12 years ago. I'll never do her justice, whether in one blog post or 1 million, but I hope I can convey at least a little bit of the honor I feel for know her. I miss you Alex! You're my inspiration.

Alex, 10 year old Gianna, and me at the Color Run

Get On My Level

My roommate Brianna is really one of a kind and I can't get enough of her. She's perfect for me and tells me what's up. Nevertheless, sometimes she eggs me into decisions I look back at with...surprise? shame? embarrassment?

Tonight's latest episode included two boxes of krispy kreme doughnuts, one from her and one from Lauren (another awesome friend) because I'd been complaining for the past two days about how much I wanted doughnuts. That led to this:

Then, after Shanin and I finished off the two or three doughnuts in the first box, it led to Brianna begging me to eat four doughnuts at the same time so she could brag about her skinny/fat roomie...Unfortunately, that led to this:

Yes, those are four doughnuts squished together.
Yes, that is chocolate on my face.

Note the look to the side. Today, I had a photo shoot and was really feeling the dramatic "look away" face. Yeah, you read that right. Gabry is now officially a model. Before you fight for autographs, just know I'm sure Krispy Kreme will pay a lot of money for this face, stuffed with doughnut and covered in chocolate, and autographs for the ones who've always been there for me will be free. My haters can get autographs at the official Krispy Kreme PR sessions where you pay $13.47 for a doughnut hole, a napkin, and my picture. You're welcome world.

On a more serious note, building a portfolio is fun as I dig up old information about myself. Did you know I was in a music video and a feature length film? You can find the music video here and about the movie, well, I feel like it might have been a hoax as last I heard it was supposed to come out last October, so maybe it's just something I made up. Apparently, this is the trailer. Can you figure out what the movie is about? Because I don't know either. Ahh tricks and jokes, man.

Anyway, yes you probably guessed it, as I write this post at 2:13am on a Sunday night, I am procrastinating on homework for my 9am class and my 11am class. I might have to actually wake up and do homework. One week in and I'm already dragging to this level. Ironically speaking, since my last post about my dangerous track, I now have a grade 1 ankle sprain tendon inflammation (I don't really do the whole "athletic trainer" speak, I have no idea what's wrong with my foot) and the time trial on Friday was less than desirable between the ankle and the calories so we'll see how Coach feels about my extracurricular eating activities.

Oh and all those doughnuts? A sugar induced energy rush inspired me to rearrange my whole room. If you're in the area feel free to drop in and see my new little fung shway set up (and yes grammar nazis, I know I spelled that wrong, it was on purpose and possible irony). If you don't live in the area, well let me tell you, I'm enjoying it so far. We'll see about how I feel when I wake up and trip over stuff in the morning. Anyway, stay healthy, don't do as I do, you end up with a belly ache even if your room looks grand, and when my metabolism gives up on me I'm going to have a rude awakening.

OH almost forgot I can now do the Cup Song from Pitch Perfect, so there might be a video coming up soon.

And I do know how to spell "feng shui"
How else would I be able to google search this?

It's Always Sunny In Belmont

I'm really trying to get more regular with this whole blogging thing, I really am!

Anyway, today in beautiful Ann Arbor it is a brilliant 37 degrees fahrenheit! And meanwhile here I sit in my room down in NC with the windows open because, guess what, it's 69 degrees and supposed to get to the 70's this weekend. This is when I know without a doubt I'm going to school at the right place.

My first three days of classes have been pretty decent, and I find myself desperately wanting to learn. Isn't funny how you take things for granted until they're almost gone? I guarantee if I was going to be here another two and a half years I'd not put any more effort than necessary into these classes. As it is, I'm trying to be the overachiever in the classroom, trying to outsmart my procrastination before it kicks in in full force.

Of course, even though I love college and all the activities that are going on, I still have a lame nerd side that results me locking myself in my room watching a youtube video over and over to learn the song: The Cup Song from Pitch Perfect. For some reason, I am absolutely obsessed with the song, and I can do the rhythm of the cup and sing the song but not together, so we'll see how this mission works out since I try to do it without my roommate realizing it. I'll keep posting as it goes...

Speaking of college activities, I had my first track practice yesterday after a month of not really working out. Sore is only barely adequate to describe my jello legs today, and I have to do weights as well after practice today. Let's be honest, Christmas break is the time to pig out and eat so much unhealthy food we develop a sugar dependency (I'm really trying to plead the case I now have a sugar dependency, but I'm not sure Coach is going for it). It added up to me looking like this at practice yesterday:

and yes, I looked like a black man

There's the slight possibility I'm exaggerating, but I could be telling the gospel truth as well. Tomorrow we have a mock meet, and this will be my first chance to really run in a meet situation on a real track. Unfortunately here at Belmont Abbey, our "track" is a cement circle around the soccer field, and our team has suffered scrapes, concussions, and dislocated limbs from accidents on it. It all adds to the excitement of practice. Get on our level.

Well I need to go have a couple more sugar cookies and tan in the wonderful weather while watching reruns of the Biggest Loser, but I'll be back in a few days with a couple more pounds and a fracture from a track accident.

Tick Tock

Today, I got to ask a cop for his license. Life. Made. Granted, he was coming to pick up his tickets for the hockey game I was working but still. I recently overcame my irrational but somewhat justified fear of police officers from a childhood incident involving getting locked in a basement by an officer. It's not as hardcore as it sounds, but I'll tell that story another time.

Anyway, today was my last day of work and my last full day home. Either way, it's that time of break again: my growing excitement to go back to school and start my last semester conflicts with my desperation to do a ton of things with my family knowing I'm going to miss them for the next 4 and a half months. I'm both counting down the hours and wanting to drag them out. And here I am, at the end of my last break ever.

Yes, my last break. I'm graduating! May 11, 2013, 20 year old me will walk across the stage in my cap and gown and receive my diploma. I'd better enjoy this semester! But then I'm on to bigger and better things. At the same time, I truly believe that it's important to live in the moment and enjoy every second of it. While I'm certainly looking forward to the future, this is a time in my life I'll never get back, and I'm trying to remember every little thing about it.

I'll be honest, I'M FREAKING OUT. I'm too young to be done with "this time" in my life. People ask me if I'm going to get my Masters, and while I've certainly considered it, I don't know if that's what I want to do with my life. The thing is, I barely know if I want to go into Sports Management. Yeah, I want to stay in sports, but why not sports medicine? Why not communications? It's all a lot that I feel I had to decide so young. I'm glad to take a gap year and try to figure things out, but it all seems a bit crazy to me. I have to take everything a day at a time, and, believe it or not, it seems like time goes so slowly AND so quickly. I know I'll blink and be graduated, and blink again and summer will be over!

Ok, maybe I'm being a little bit dramatic, but I love going over the top. Probably not the best thing ha. I know everything will work out and before I know it I'll be working a random summer job (hopefully an outdoor one, that would be ideal) and then going to Europe for the Fall. Who knows? Maybe I'll even make a couple bucks off this blog! (Thanks for the motivation, Karen!) 

(Really big shout out to Karen)

Everyone keeps telling me, enjoy your last semester! And I'm like, no duh, this is it for me. Next comes marriage and then death. (Again, maybe a BIT of an exaggeration). Regardless, I'm enjoying my adventures, both the ones ending and beginning, and hopefully I'll remember to pack all my clothes and things before I leave. PACKING! That's right, well I should probably go pack. Goodbye Michigan, goodbye snow, goodbye my amigos. Until we meet again!