I haven't written in a while, and rather than trying to blurt out everything that happened since that meteor came and killed the dinosaurs, I'm just going to go with the moment.
Today, I ran my last race as a NCAA athlete. I've been so blessed to receive the opportunity to compete, especially after never running more than 30 minutes in my life before probably June of last year. I've come a long way in ten months, and I have so much further to go. For a while I was trying to come back to school in the fall so I could stay with the team, but long story short I have some soul searching to do, so I'll hold off on degree number two for a little bit.
It's scary to think of the "real" world, especially at the age of 20, but I think I'll never really live a "normal" course of life. I have this picture in my head, a timeline if you will, about how life should go: grade school, high school, college, job, marriage, homemaker, happy old age, death. I've never really been content with that picture, and I already messed it up when I decided at the age of 16 college was a great idea right then. HA. But I think I assumed it to still all go according to my "plan," which I'm realizing now is very vague, and yes I now have a degree in sports management but I don't know what the heck I even want to do with it. The exciting part? I'm filling out an application to go to Ireland in the fall for three months and do an outdoor sports course, ie high ropes, rock climbing, lifeguard certification, kayaking/canoeing, ehem, SURFING! Yes my first time in Ireland over spring break I learned how to surf in a town ranked top ten IN THE WORLD to surf! Bundoran.
While I might get there and hate my whole time (which I seriously doubt), I think it will be a good opportunity for me to figure out, well, me. I wouldn't say I'm too nice of a person, but I oftentimes just want to make everyone happy. While this can be a great thing, it also means I've spent so long catering to what my friends what of me, what my parents want of me, what my beautiful little sisters want of me, that I don't even know what I want of me. I've spent so much time ignoring myself, and maybe I'm just afraid of what I'll find, but I need to face myself and get away. Aaand learning to surf and lead camps for kids doesn't sound too shabby anyway :) Now I just need to get myself a job for the summer! ha. haha. But really, anybody in the Ann Arbor area want to hit me up, I will do anything from scrubbing toilets to walking dogs, just as long as I don't have to go back working at the movie theater.
On a serious note though, this week has been one full of tragedies in our country and the world. While it's especially scary to see an attack like the one in Boston, what's inspiring is seeing how everyone came together through the tragedy. Today, after the capture of the suspect though, I overheard a couple of people excitedly talking about terrible ways this guy should die. While I agree he is a despicable human being, I think if we stoop to that level, to his level, to cause as much pain and suffering as we can, then we are no better than him. Innocent until proven guilty and all that, but even when proven guilty, we can't make up for lives lost by inflicting pain on another. We can best respect those lives by forgiving and forgetting him, and celebrating the lives our loved ones lived.
Today, I ran my last race as a NCAA athlete. I've been so blessed to receive the opportunity to compete, especially after never running more than 30 minutes in my life before probably June of last year. I've come a long way in ten months, and I have so much further to go. For a while I was trying to come back to school in the fall so I could stay with the team, but long story short I have some soul searching to do, so I'll hold off on degree number two for a little bit.
It's scary to think of the "real" world, especially at the age of 20, but I think I'll never really live a "normal" course of life. I have this picture in my head, a timeline if you will, about how life should go: grade school, high school, college, job, marriage, homemaker, happy old age, death. I've never really been content with that picture, and I already messed it up when I decided at the age of 16 college was a great idea right then. HA. But I think I assumed it to still all go according to my "plan," which I'm realizing now is very vague, and yes I now have a degree in sports management but I don't know what the heck I even want to do with it. The exciting part? I'm filling out an application to go to Ireland in the fall for three months and do an outdoor sports course, ie high ropes, rock climbing, lifeguard certification, kayaking/canoeing, ehem, SURFING! Yes my first time in Ireland over spring break I learned how to surf in a town ranked top ten IN THE WORLD to surf! Bundoran.
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| So I mainly just chilled, but I got the gist of it! |
While I might get there and hate my whole time (which I seriously doubt), I think it will be a good opportunity for me to figure out, well, me. I wouldn't say I'm too nice of a person, but I oftentimes just want to make everyone happy. While this can be a great thing, it also means I've spent so long catering to what my friends what of me, what my parents want of me, what my beautiful little sisters want of me, that I don't even know what I want of me. I've spent so much time ignoring myself, and maybe I'm just afraid of what I'll find, but I need to face myself and get away. Aaand learning to surf and lead camps for kids doesn't sound too shabby anyway :) Now I just need to get myself a job for the summer! ha. haha. But really, anybody in the Ann Arbor area want to hit me up, I will do anything from scrubbing toilets to walking dogs, just as long as I don't have to go back working at the movie theater.
On a serious note though, this week has been one full of tragedies in our country and the world. While it's especially scary to see an attack like the one in Boston, what's inspiring is seeing how everyone came together through the tragedy. Today, after the capture of the suspect though, I overheard a couple of people excitedly talking about terrible ways this guy should die. While I agree he is a despicable human being, I think if we stoop to that level, to his level, to cause as much pain and suffering as we can, then we are no better than him. Innocent until proven guilty and all that, but even when proven guilty, we can't make up for lives lost by inflicting pain on another. We can best respect those lives by forgiving and forgetting him, and celebrating the lives our loved ones lived.
Can I stowaway in your luggage for the summer?? :). This is exactly what your 20yo self should be doing right now!! Enjoy and love life! :) And share a whole lotta pics so we at home can live vicariously through you!
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