Today, I became free. I deleted my facebook and twitter, and I think I'm going to stay off, at least this time. I might create a private facebook for only my really close family and maybe some friends, but I'm tired of getting reality and facebook mixed up. I want to look at someone for the first time, and not immediately try to find them on facebook and find out their facts. I don't care if the world is "headed toward all technology." It doesn't make life easier, it makes it harder, more complicated. I want to live my life and let people live theirs.
I realized today when I got annoyed for the sixth (or sixty-sixth) time with someone today. I'm already tired of gossip and rumors enough listening to them in real life, I don't want to immerse myself in a tainted reality of the truth. I really wish I could just use facebook for the pictures, especially since I don't take my own, but I can't. Since I can't I have to remove myself entirely. I think in the back of my mind is the fear that if I delete my facebook, I'll disappear, become somehow nonexistent. Then again, sometimes I get the desire to go completely off the grid, delete my email addresses, this blog, turn off my cell phone, and just live.
The reason twitter was so hard for me to delete is all the random thoughts I wanted to put down. I didn't necessarily tweet so that anyone would read it. In that case, I need to just journal. I'm blogging right now which helps, but I never reread these. I simply type them up and let it go.
Back to the facebook issue though, I do miss the idea of keeping in touch with everyone, even the cousins in Honduras and overseas. Also, my old friends that I will never see again but reading their occasional post and pictures brings back happy memories. Yet, if that's the only way I hear from them, I ought to not hear from them at all. That's not a true relationship, and I need to take myself away from that joke.
Wow, ok well there's my stream of conscience. Take it or leave. But I feel kind of free.
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